had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
