i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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