oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize
