She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Randomize
