He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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