Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
