a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize