i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
