Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Dating After Heartbreak
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
These Images Prove Chrissy Teigen is the Funniest Model Alive
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs