I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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