I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!