A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
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Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
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tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."