you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I have tasted many bathrooms
You're a disaster