he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
