Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
