First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
