Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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