I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Soap is not a condiment
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
