The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
