Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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