So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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