My nipple is on Facebook.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
