i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize