this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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