Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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