if we break up, who will get the dealer?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
