I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
