I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Shame - the story of my life.
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