Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
