She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
