I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
