a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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