my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
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