Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
