I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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