he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
