dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
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