What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
