dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize