cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
