I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
