The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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