i think my tv is drunk
home. puking in laundry basket.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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