The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize