Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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