just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
