i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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