You just made me feel so damn special
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
