Ambien. No doubt about it.
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
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Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
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There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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