i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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