I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Someone signed my nipple.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
