Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
