all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
