tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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