either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
