i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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