"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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