Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
