i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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