it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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