Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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