you guys were way drunker than both of me
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
