my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
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Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
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Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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